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Contact Paris Hilton Poisoned with Radioactive Cock The Centers for Disease Control CDC reported yesterday that a "moderate quantity" of alpha radiation from the substance Polonium was detected in Paris Hilton's urine, leading officials to conclude that the intellectually challenged diva has been the target of an attempted murder plot. Hilton, who was admitted to Cedars-Sinai hospital in Los Angeles after succumbing to a mystery illness Saturday afternoon, was likely exposed when she sucked a cock carrying the radioactive isotope early that morning after a night spent partying. The evolution of the "smoking cock" theory came when no traces of polonium, which must be ingested or inhaled to inflict harm, were discovered on the premises of the Avalon club in Hollywood where Hilton and fellow drunk slut Lindsay Lohan inebriated themselves that evening, and after it was conveyed that, with the exception of the alcohol, Ms. Hilton hadn't consumed anything other than semen in the previous 24 hour period. Despite these revelations, the difficulty of pinning down the culprit or even the scene of the crime remained elusive, as FBI spokesman Sam Von Till described: Hilton sucked upwards of seven cocks that night in at least five different locations around the city, and her level of intoxication impaired her ability to recall many details.
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The judge sentenced her to 45 days detention for the lulz. Reenactment of her time spent in jail. Normally ED doesn't give a flying fuck whether something is for real or not, but even we couldn't make this shit up. IMDB along with the keywords for the film. For some strange reason Paris is considered the "Hottie". At the time of writing, it was the 10th Lowest Rated movie evar with a rating of 1.
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